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Life is dizzying when you’re a powerful female politician in today’s USA. The road to (still) trying to break the glass ceiling includes ducking malicious gossip, routinely justifying my qualifications, writing scornful letters to lesser male politicians, protecting the nation’s kids from assault weapons, and reclaiming my time over and over again.
People always ask me, “How do you do it all?”
I don’t do it all. I do one thing.
I maintain my monthly subscription to Canned Delights™.
On the 1st of every month, I receive a package of Lady Cans in the mail. It comes with a little note reminding me that after I make love, it’s time to Make A Plan. (A nice antidote to the other monthly visitor I receive.)
My current set of Lady Cans includes: A needle & thread to fix blouses ripped in passionate moments, a Lisa Simpson doll (to remember why I got into politics), an inspirational book hand-picked from Oprah’s Book Club, a notepad, and a prepaid Seamless card. I’ve learned that carbs are what truly fuel us women to run the world.
Since I started my subscription, Canned Delights have revolutionized my bedroom life. They’ve turned my recent avoidance of men into a sense of excitement. Every lay is permeated with new possibilities.
“You look like you’re on top of the world!” one lover recently said, post-romp.
That’s because I know what’s waiting for me under my bed. Politics are tiresome, but my Canned Delights keep me going.