Years from now, when far more advanced (and reasonably governed) humans study how we adapted to our abrupt new circumstances, they’ll notice we ate a whole lot more cereal.
Here at General Mills, we want to say, Thanks for that.
We know that when you’re digging through your cupboard in the wee hours of the night, you’re looking not just for food, but comfort – the kind that comes in a cardboard box filled with tiny grains reminiscent of a simpler time. And in the mornings, when you can’t tear your eyes away from the news, we know you just need a healthy standby that includes sugar in a fun, colorful way.
While we can’t take your troubles away, we can help you stuff them deep down in your stomach. That’s why we’re introducing WorriosTM.
Our newest cereal is for those of you worried about morning meetings being scheduled as you brush your teeth; unsure whether your pilot for “Friends, but on a cruise” will ever get picked up; stressed about your 2020 plans being delayed by a year (or two or three), having a less than desirable employment status, and other such things.
From the people who brought you Cheerios, here’s a cereal that’s truer to life. We’re not feeling so cheery these days. So, don’t worry – well actually, go ahead and worry with Worrios.
From the people who brought you Cheerios, here’s a cereal that’s truer to life. Each box of Worrios is filled with pulverized oats in the shape of an ‘O’ – or as we like to call it, a Woe.
Each box of Worrios is filled with pulverized oats in the shape of an ‘O’ – or as we like to call it, a Woe. Start by pouring some Worrios into a bowl of milk. Now, look into the bowl and face your Woes. If you’re feeling adventurous, go ahead and dip your nose in your Woes. The first step towards making an annoyance go away is facing it.
Did that? Great! Now, sit with your Woes. Stir them around a little. You have ten minutes to reflect on them before they get soggy. (Unlike Cheerios, for which Time Until Soggy = 9 minutes, we’ve added an extra minute for you to stare at your bowl in melancholy.) When you feel ready, go ahead and eat your Woes.
Just like that, you’ll see your Woes be gone*. Do this as many times as you need until you feel better. Let (y)our Woes empower you.
(*Our nutritional breakfast may not literally obliterate your worries. But you will be well-fed for a few hours.)
Our tasty, toasty Woes of oats are chock-full of Vitamin B1 (more than corn, rice, and wheat!). Like their sister cereal, they’re grainy and savory – just how we know you love them – and come in multiple flavors: Original, Honey Nut, Fruity, Chocolate, Blueberry, and Banana. They may also help you lower your cholesterol, but we’re not allowed to say that anymore.
Anyway, is there anything more American than eating your emotions? At General Mills, we’re proud of making the food the world needs. What we eat should reflect who we are – and we’re worried.
Eat your woes with Worrios.
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