September 14, 2020 | New York, NY
It started when she read The Secret.
“Tell the universe what you want, and you’ll get it,” the book whispered, “It’s as easy as ordering from a catalogue.”
She’d never thought of life that way. Up until now, most of life had felt like throwing homemade slime at the wall to see what stuck. She’d gotten used to this process, color-coded its many variations in her mind, made peace with it.
But the book said things could be different. And so, the question came: What did she want?
She thought about it all day and that night over a cup of tea and the next morning while brushing her teeth, and it came to her: she wanted to be married. Getting married, it seemed, was the quickest way to getting happy. It came with all the Things: something to talk about with her married friends other than their synced-up menstrual cycles, a chance to be in the spotlight, and of course, new outfits.
Plus, she already had a boyfriend. How hard could it be?
“See the things you want as already Yours,”said The Secret. So she poured a glass of wine and summed up the courage to “accidentally” share her Pinterest page of engagement rings with Boyfriend.
“See the things you want as already Yours,”said The Secret. She poured a glass of wine and summed up the courage to “accidentally” share her Pinterest page of engagement rings with Boyfriend. For good measure, she browsed those links on his computer so the cookies would follow him with targeted ads all around the Internet.
Suddenly, every aspect of life had purpose. Walls were no longer barriers, but a space to put up pictures of potential wedding destinations. Words held new meaning. “Want to order Chinese for dinner?” Boyfriend asked one night. “Yes,” she said, “I do.”
A few weeks later, she threw out her clothes and began wearing white dresses every day. “What happened to your other clothes?” Boyfriend asked. “This is all I look good in,” she said.
She was manifesting her reality.
A few weeks later, she threw out her clothes and began wearing white dresses every day. She was manifesting her reality.
Life went on that way until one evening, she caught Boyfriend staring at her.
“I don’t know what it is, but lately I’ve been feeling like we’re meant to spend our lives together,” he said. He reached into his pocket and pulled out a ring. (The one featured three times on her “Dream Ringz” Pinterest board)
“I can’t believe this,” she said, “This is coming out of nowhere.”
Boyfriend got down on one knee.
“What do you think?” he asked.
The word came up to her throat. Yes!
But she had just started reading The Art of War. “Let your plans be dark and impenetrable as night,” the book whispered.
“Let me get back to you,” she told him.
She was wise that way.